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At least half of the kids I tutor only see their dad once a year because of this.

"That's just how it is," is the response that most people give.

He always paid on dates, but when he had the opportunity to get his research published in some professional journals and couldn't afford the fee, he was very hesitant to accept the money from me.Jocelyn said that the guys that she's dated haven't come out directly to express their intent.A decade ago, my plans for coming to China included teaching for a year, two...maybe even three, before returning to the US to start my teaching career.Dating was not part of my plan, so when it happened, I was completely unprepared for it.Also it's easier for them to continue their career here, especially if they're older and already established in their career.

As for free English lessons, although my husband and I only communicate in English, I know of several couples who speak Chinese because their boyfriend or husband doesn't speak a word of it.

Looking back, I would have loved to know what I was getting myself into or at least some advice on navigating Chinese dating culture.

Since my experience was limited to just my husband, I got some additional input from two American bloggers living in China: Jocelyn Eikenburg writes Speaking Of China and Jo Kelly-Bai writes Life Behind The Wall.

They're slow and spend a lot of time texting and talking to show their interest in you.

Physical intimacy comes pretty slowly if the guys are serious about dating.

Jocelyn's now father-in-law told his son that he was welcome to be friends with a Western woman but not to date her.