They are the tenets you grew up believing and that deep down inside still seem to fit into your life no matter what else changes.”A value system doesn’t necessarily have to do with religion, although that could play a part in the conversation.Unless it is a deal breaker for you personally, someone with a different religion than you could still be a great match.
One of the ways that we view relationships is based on what we witnessed from our parents.
That is not to say that people who grew up in unhappy homes won’t be capable of having a healthy relationship.
Everyone has a set of ingrained beliefs and values that help to guide their behavior and decisions.
If a guy’s value system is vastly different from yours, then it could make for hardship down the road if your relationship becomes serious.
While it’s chivalrous that he pulls out your chair at dinner, stands up when you enter a room and helps you with your coat, this is less about noticing how he treats you and more about noticing how he treats others.
At a restaurant, does he berate the waiter for bringing him a regular cola instead of a diet one?He says that, “A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person.” He cautions people to be wary of those who can turn their charm on and off at the drop of a dime, depending on who they are talking to.Be especially wary of men who use a power card, saying things like, “I know the owner of this place and I could have you fired.” This ridiculous statement tells you nothing about the person’s actual status, but everything about his character.In order to develop a healthy relationship, it’s important to have similar, or at least compatible, values.Therapist Jo Anne White writes that core values are, “things about yourself that are not likely to change.If upon leaving the restaurant you walk by a homeless person, does your date pull out whatever spare change he has in his pocket, or does he mutter rude and condescending remarks under his breath?